The Hidden Cost of Feedom

Sunday, 14th September - 6-minute read

Hello and Happy Sunday!

I'm sitting here this Sunday morning with my favourite mug (the one with the chip that makes it perfectly imperfect), and something's been gnawing at me for weeks.

Last Tuesday, a friend said something that stopped me dead in my tracks: "Heather, I feel more trapped now that I'm my own boss than I ever did in corporate."

This brilliant founder had built what everyone would call a successful practice - six figures, waiting list, all the external markers of "freedom." Yet she felt like a prisoner in her own creation.

That conversation sent me spiralling down a rabbit hole about my own relationship with freedom, and what I discovered might make you deeply uncomfortable.

Grab a cuppa and join me on an exploration of freedom in business and in life.

The Beautiful Lie We Tell Ourselves

Here's what nobody tells you about freedom: the moment you achieve what you thought would liberate you, you often discover you've simply built a more sophisticated cage.

I spent years believing that leaving my corporate job would give me freedom. What I actually got was the freedom to work weekends, the freedom to worry about money at 3am, and the freedom to judge myself for every boundary I set.

Real freedom isn't about escaping external constraints - it's about recognising the internal ones.

When Freedom Becomes Violence

A few years ago, I watched a founder completely torch their existing business because they felt "trapped" by their client base. They believed that burning it all down would set them free.

Six months later, they were back to square one, having destroyed relationships and reputation in their quest for liberation.

Here's what I've learned: freedom achieved through violence - whether to others or ourselves - is just another form of bondage. It creates debris that follows us wherever we go.

True freedom emerges from gentle, conscious choices made from love rather than fear. From supporting ourselves with that internal dialogue rather than diminishing our every move.

The Golden Handcuffs of Success

The most dangerous prison is the one that looks like paradise from the outside.

I know practitioners earning multiple six figures who can't take a proper holiday because their entire identity is wrapped up in being available, being needed, being indispensable. They've created businesses that require their constant presence to survive.

They're successful. They're also trapped.

Freedom isn't about how much money you make - it's about how you make that money and whether the process expands or contracts your soul.

The Discipline Nobody Talks About

Real freedom requires more discipline than imprisonment.

When I was employed, someone else set my schedule, determined my priorities, managed my time. Now, every moment requires a conscious choice.

• Do I check emails at 7am or protect my morning ritual?
• Do I say yes to this opportunity because it pays well or because it aligns with my values?
• Do I follow my energy or push through because "I should"?

The discipline of freedom is learning to choose consciously rather than reactively. It's developing the internal structure that external freedom requires.

What Freedom Actually Costs

Freedom isn't free. The price is often higher than we expect.

Real freedom costs you your need to be liked by everyone. It costs you the comfort of blaming circumstances for your unhappiness. It costs you the luxury of unconscious living.

But here's what it gives you in return: the ability to create from authenticity rather than obligation. The capacity to build something truly sustainable. The gift of alignment between your values and your actions.

The Inside Job

The deepest truth about freedom? You can feel trapped in the most liberating environment if your internal landscape is chaotic.

I've worked with folks who had complete schedule autonomy yet felt overwhelmed every day. Their external freedom couldn't compensate for their internal imprisonment to perfectionism, people-pleasing, and old patterns. And I've been guilty of that too.

Conversely, I've met people in highly structured environments who radiate freedom because they've cultivated inner spaciousness.

External freedom without internal freedom is just a different kind of cage.

This Week's Practice

Here's what I invite you to explore this week:

The Freedom Audit: For seven days, notice when you feel most free and when you feel most trapped. Don't try to change anything - just observe.

Ask yourself:

• What internal stories create a sense of limitation?
• Where am I choosing restriction out of habit rather than necessity?
• What would I do differently if I truly believed I was free to choose?

This Week's Takeaway

The transformation industry is full of promises about freedom, but most practitioners remain trapped in patterns that serve neither their clients nor themselves.

Real freedom - the kind that creates sustainable practices and authentic success - isn't about escaping constraints. It's about choosing consciously which constraints serve your highest good.

In a world increasingly dominated by external structures and AI-driven processes, your capacity for conscious choice becomes your greatest competitive advantage.

Choosing Happy Podcast Update

A further 3 episodes published this week:

1. Monday Myth-Busting (10-15 mins) – The Myth of Work Life Balance

2. Wednesday Real (15-20 mins) - Real stories from real people – When Success Feels Like a Prison

3. Friday Fail Forward (20-25 mins) - What went wrong and what we learned – “Freedom Failure”

All episodes are available at www.choosinghappypodcast.com or on your favourite podcast platform/app.

Start With AI Update

"What AI Can't Replace: The Freedom to Choose Consciousness"

You can listen on your favourite app or here on the website:
https://www.startwithai.online/podcasts/start-with-ai-podcast.

The 5-day email course is helping transformational practitioners integrate AI into their businesses without losing their human touch.

Join us at www.startwithai.online

That's it for this week, beautiful soul.

Remember: your freedom isn't determined by your circumstances - it's created by your choices.

The coffee offer remains open, always.

With so much love and gratitude,

Heather

Heather V Masters
Chief Coach, Writer, Trainer and Facilitator of Magic

Email: [email protected] or [email protected]

P.S. If you know a practitioner who's built a beautiful cage and calls it success, share this with them. Sometimes we all need permission to question what we've created.