When Your 'Why' Isn't working - Uncovering the missing piece.

Hello and Happy Sunday!

Sunday, 16th November - 7-minute read

I’m sitting here with a warm Lady Grey and two very content dogs curled beside me, and I have something important to share with you today — something that hit me with the clarity of a head torch cutting through a black night in the forest.

This week, I finally saw why my big ‘why’ — the legacy I’m building, the work I’m here to do — has felt inspiring… but not always compelling.

And the truth I uncovered might just shift something in you too.

We’re told endlessly to “find your why”, “live your why”, “lead with your why”.
But nobody tells you what to do when your why feels inspiring…
but not compelling.

Today, I want to take you into that gap with me.

This is for the practitioners who know they’re here for meaningful, heart-centred impact…
…yet still feel an inexplicable hesitation, wobble, or emotional mismatch when they try to step into their next level.

Grab your cuppa and let’s unpack this together.

When Your ‘Why’ Inspires You but Doesn’t Move You

There’s been a pattern I’ve danced with for far too long:
a lot of doing, without the results that match the effort.

You might recognise this one.

• Creating content
• Planning episodes
• Drafting newsletters
• Doing the “right” things
• Staying visibly busy
• Working, tweaking, refining

Except… the needle doesn’t move the way it should.

This week, I was surrounded by notebooks, drafts, outlines — all the activity that looks productive, yet didn’t feel aligned with the big “why” that truly drives my work.

And then, unexpectedly, everything shifted.

⭐ The Moment the Pattern Broke

I was reading a book about someone going through the 12-step programme. One chapter was about taking personal inventory — real, raw, honest inventory.

Something in me stopped.

Why am I keeping this pattern alive when it doesn’t move me toward my why?

The truth arrived gently but unmistakably:

I didn’t actually believe I could be the person who achieves my why.
Not fully. Not yet.

I sat with that.

Then, as if perfectly timed by the universe, I came across a Jack Canfield quote:

“Add ‘up until now’ and reframe it.”

Up until now, I didn’t believe I could be the person who could live my why.
Up until now, I filled my days with activity instead of alignment.
Up until now, I stayed busy instead of becoming.

Lightbulbs everywhere.
It wasn’t motivation I lacked —
it was identity.

Your ‘Why’ Lives in the Future — Unless Your Identity Lives It Now

We’re told to “find our why” and “lead with purpose”.
But here’s the missing piece you’re never taught:

Your ‘why’ is powerless if your identity doesn’t believe you can be the person who lives it.

Purpose without identity alignment becomes:

• inspiring but impotent
• exciting but distant
• meaningful but not actionable

Your unconscious mind files your vision under “later” because your identity hasn’t updated to “this is who I am now.”

Your why isn’t waiting on your strategy.
It’s waiting on your self-concept.

The Identity–Why Gap (and why you’re not broken)

When your identity doesn’t match your purpose, you’ll experience:

• overthinking
• over-creating
• perfectionism
• busywork
• procrastination
• inconsistency
• undercharging
• hesitation
• “not ready yet” syndrome

This is not self-sabotage.
This is self-protection.

Your unconscious mind prioritises safety over success.

If your purpose feels bigger than who you quietly believe you are, your system presses the brakes — subtly, consistently, relentlessly.

The 3-Minute Why–Identity Audit

Bring your why to mind now — really feel it.

Then ask:

1. Am I seeing myself living this… or watching myself like a movie?

(Seeing yourself = dissociation. It keeps the why “out there”.)

2. Which part of me quietly whispers, “I’m not that person yet”?

Even 5% doubt slows the system.

3. What identity traits naturally live inside my why?

Confidence?
Presence?
Leadership?
Clarity?
Visibility?
Courage?

This audit reveals exactly where the gap lives.

Bridging the Gap: Becoming the Person Who Can Live Your Why

Identity shifts not through force, but through evidence.

Here’s the framework I use with clients (and myself):

1. Name the identity of your why-living self

List the traits.
Be specific.

2. Pick ONE trait to embody for 24 hours

Just one.
Not the whole identity.

3. Act from that trait once today

One decision.
One action.
One behaviour.

4. Let your nervous system collect evidence

This is how identity updates — through lived proof.

Your why becomes compelling the moment your identity says:
“Yes. This is who I am now.”

Why This Matters for Your Clients

Your clients aren’t stuck because they lack clarity.
Or discipline.
Or motivation.

They’re stuck because their identity hasn’t caught up with their desire.

If you shift their identity belief from
“I want this”
to
“I am the person who can have this”
everything changes.

This Week’s Practice: The Embodied Why Experiment

For the next seven days:

1. Rewrite your why in identity terms
From: I want to help people reclaim time.
To: I am a practitioner who helps people reclaim time.

2. Choose ONE identity trait connected to your why.

3. Embody that trait for 24 hours.

4. Track the shifts.
In energy.
In behaviour.
In results.

This experiment is deceptively simple — and radically catalytic.

This Week’s Takeaway

Your why doesn’t need to be more inspiring.
It needs to be more inhabited.

Your purpose is not calling the future version of you —
it’s calling you now.

Identity is the bridge.
Belief is the fuel.
Action is the integration.

Becoming the person who can hold your why is the beginning of every legacy.

Choosing Happy Podcast Update

This week on Choosing Happy:

Monday: The Myth of “Finding Your Why”
Wednesday: Real Stories - Identity Acceleration: Becoming the You Who Can Hold the Vision
Friday: Fail Forward — When Identity Holds You Back

All episodes are available at www.choosinghappypodcast.com or on your favourite podcast platform/app.

Start With AI Update

If your ‘why’ includes more time, more spaciousness and more aligned impact —
AI can support you beautifully.

My AI toolkit for transformational practitioners is nearly ready,
showing you exactly how to blend:

✨ efficiency
✨ clarity
✨ creativity
✨ identity-aligned consistency

Watch the LinkedIn newsletter for release details.

Before you close this message, gently ask yourself…

If I fully believed I could be the person who lives my why today…
what would I do differently in the next hour?

The coffee offer remains open, always.
And the welcome is genuine.

With so much love, presence, and belief in your becoming,
Heather

Heather V Masters
Chief Coach, Writer, Trainer and Facilitator of Magic
[email protected] | [email protected]

P.S. If you know a practitioner whose ‘why’ feels distant or flat, forward this to them. Their identity might simply need the invitation to rise.