Why I Keep Rejecting What I Want Most (And You Probably Do Too)

Happy Sunday!

It’s a sunny Sunday in scenic Northumberland and I’m sitting with my favourite coffee (Lazy Sunday - aptly named), and I need to share something that's been both fascinating and deeply uncomfortable to discover.

This week, I caught myself doing something I didn't even know I was doing: actively rejecting the very things I've been asking the universe to bring me.

Not consciously, mind you. But in that sneaky, unconscious way that keeps us safe from actually having what we dream about.

It started with a red convertible and ended with a revelation that might make you question everything you think you know about wanting and having.

Grab your cuppa and settle in - because what I'm about to share will likely expose something you're doing too.

The Dream That Stays "Out There"

I rarely talk about manifestation in this newsletter because I'm not claiming to know enough to guarantee anyone results. But this week, something shifted that I can't ignore.

For years, I've been visualising my dream car - a red convertible on a coastal road, bright sunny day, Shania Twain on the radio ("Man! I Feel Like a Woman!"), my dogs in the back with tongues lolling and ears flapping in the breeze. I can feel the beige leather steering wheel in my hands, see the teak dashboard, hear the rhythm of the music and me screeching along, perfectly.

The universe has been responding. The car shows up in films, in unexpected places, like it's saying "Here it is. Here's exactly what you asked for."

Yet when I think about actually getting it, I immediately consider where I live now and conclude the car is "inappropriate for now."

Interesting. I'm actually rejecting the thing I've been visualising.

The Associated vs Dissociated Trap

Here's what I discovered about most of my goal visualisations: I was seeing myself in the picture rather than looking through my own eyes.

This matters more than you might think- especially for practitioners.

When you see yourself from the outside - dissociated - the dream remains "out there," separate from you, always in the future. When you're looking through your own eyes - associated - you're embodying it now.

Most practitioners I work with do this with their success visions. They see themselves on stage, in the consultation room, receiving testimonials - but they're watching themselves like a film rather than experiencing it through their own senses.

Are you seeing yourself delivering that keynote from the audience, or are you looking out at the faces from behind the podium?

Are you watching yourself work with premium clients, or are you experiencing the satisfaction of guiding transformations from your chair?

The dream stays safely distant when we remain observers. Available to admire, impossible to inhabit.

The "Not Ready Now" Defence System

Our unconscious minds are brilliant at protecting us from getting what we want before we feel ready.

"I'm not in the right place."
"I wouldn't be able to handle that right now."
"Maybe when things are different."

Sound familiar?

Three years ago, I watched a client finally book her dream retreat centre, only to cancel it the next day because "the timing isn't quite right." The timing was perfect. Her fear of being seen as the expert she'd become wasn't.

Here's what I see constantly: coaches and trainers who've spent years developing expertise, yet when opportunities show up matching exactly what they've been working towards, they immediately find reasons why "now" isn't right.

Here's the truth: we're never ready for the next level until we're living it, embracing it now, as if it has happened now.

The Business Wanting Trap

Even the word "wanting" keeps us future-focused. To want means you haven't got it yet, that it's always coming rather than here.

I know practitioners who've been "wanting" their breakthrough client, their signature program, their six-figure year for... years. The wanting has become more comfortable than the having.

In your practice, this shows up as:

• "Wanting" to charge premium fees but always offering discounts
• "Wanting" more visibility but declining podcast invitations
• "Wanting" ideal clients but not raising your standards

When did you last ask yourself: "Am I ready now, truly, to have and be all of what I desire in my practice?"

Not when you've done another course. Not when you feel more deserving. Not when impostor syndrome magically disappears.

Now.

The Embodiment Gap

The gap between visualising and having isn't about worthiness or cosmic timing - it's about embodiment.

I can visualise that convertible perfectly because I'm looking through my own eyes, feeling the leather, hearing Shania. But the moment I think about parking it outside my house, I disconnect. I go back to observing rather than inhabiting.

Your business dreams work the same way. You can see the packed workshops, feel the standing ovations, hear the client transformations. But when it comes to booking the venue, charging premium fees, or claiming your expertise publicly, you suddenly become the observer rather than the experiencer.

You're watching successful you from unsuccessful you's perspective.

How to Help Clients Stop Rejecting Their Own Breakthroughs

This pattern isn't just yours - it's likely showing up in your client work too.

I've noticed clients who finally have the breakthrough they've been working towards, then immediately find reasons why it won't last:

"It was probably just a fluke."
"I don't think I can maintain this."
"Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself."

Framework for Practitioners:

1. Catch the Rejection - Listen for language that dismisses or minimises progress

2. Association Check - "When you imagine maintaining this breakthrough, are you watching yourself or experiencing it through your own eyes?"

3. Now vs Future - "What would need to be different for you to fully receive this shift now rather than waiting for more proof?"

4. Embodiment Practice - Guide them to physically experience the breakthrough in their body, not just mentally acknowledge it

Your clients need permission to have their transformations now, not when they feel "more ready."

The Permission to Have Now

The most radical thing you can do as a practitioner isn't to want more - it's to receive what's already showing up.

That inquiry email you haven't responded to because "they probably can't afford me."

The speaking opportunity you declined because "I'm not ready for that level."

The program idea you keep refining instead of launching because "it's not perfect yet."

What if the universe is already delivering and you're unconsciously rejecting the deliveries?

This Week's Practice

Here's what I invite you to explore this week:

The Professional Receiving Audit: For seven days, notice what opportunities you're saying no to, deferring, or making conditional in your life and business.

Ask yourself:

• Where am I seeing myself from the outside rather than experiencing from within?
• What am I calling "not right now" that might actually be perfect timing?
• If I truly believed I was ready now, what would I say yes to today?

This Week's Takeaway

The transformation industry is saturated with practitioners teaching manifestation and goal-setting but rarely addresses why we unconsciously reject what we've been working towards.

Your competitive advantage isn't your ability to visualise success - it's your capacity to embody it when it shows up. Not just for yourself, but in how you hold space for clients to receive their breakthroughs without immediately minimising them.

In a marketplace where everyone's offering transformation, your edge is your ability to help people actually have what they've been seeking rather than keeping it perpetually "out there."

Choosing Happy Podcast Update

A further 3 episodes published this week:

1. Monday Myth-Busting (10-15 mins)

2. Wednesday Real (15-20 mins) - Real stories

Friday Fail Forward (20-25 mins) - What went wrong and what we learned

All episodes are available at www.choosinghappypodcast.com or on your favourite podcast platform/app.

Start With AI Update

"What AI Can't Replace: Humanity and The Freedom to Choose Consciousness"

You can listen on your favourite app or here on the website:
https://www.startwithai.online/podcasts/start-with-ai-podcast.

The 5-day email course is helping transformational practitioners integrate AI into their businesses without losing their human touch.

Join us at www.startwithai.online

That's it for this week.

Remember: Remember: you're already ready for what you've been asking for - you just need to let yourself have it.

The coffee offer remains open, always.

With so much love and gratitude,

Heather

Heather V Masters
Chief Coach, Writer, Trainer and Facilitator of Magic

Email: [email protected] or [email protected]

P.S.   If you know a practitioner who's been "waiting to be ready" for their next level, share this with them. Sometimes we all need permission to receive what we've been visualising.